Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Good bye 2008

It's 6 more hours to midnight, which means, another 6 hours left of 2008. Looking back, there has been so many things happening this year, which made me laugh as much as I cry. OK, maybe I didn't cry too much, but laugh more than crying. But I remember several times when my world collapsed and my heart was ripping. When tears coming out of your eyes, you would feel better after the last one drops out of your eyes. But when your heart is crying, you won't see anything coming out, but it is drying your soul out like the drought hits the beautiful savanna. (Better watch National Geographic to know what exactly happen there).

I'm searching for the meaning of my existence. I don't know if by just being myself, have I ever touched anyone's heart, in a good way, and if ever it was in a bad way, please forgive me, for all my shortcomings. I am not trying to be perfect, as perfect is overrated. But I do want to be a good person, at least in the God's vision, and to at least start loving myself.

Goals..among all I have,what have I achieved this year? I think,none of the most important ones. If I list it all out like Bridget Jones, hmm...I'm certain it will keep changing every minutes. But I think, I was born as a fighter. I fought to live before I was born, I fought to be where I have been, I have fought for everything. Even if I have lost many battles, I'm still here, and still being alive is the biggest battle that I have won,Alhamdulillah.

Hijri New Year was 2 days ago, and tomorrow is a new day for a new year. Hopefully tomorrow and beyond will bring so much more success & happiness for me and everyone. Have a blessed life and may we grow to be a better person than we have been this year. Goodbye 2008...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

If only...

This morning, in Flyfm's Fix-it was about a girl, who summoned up her courage to propose to a guy she loves, got rejected, she laughed and hung-up the phone. Well, I've been there,done that and I know very well how it wasn't really a laugh. Ben & Nadia called her back,asking if she's ok, and from the sound of it, I knew she's not going to be ok for a long time. So, if I ever get to meet her, the one thing I'd like to say is, "Welcome to the club, let's go to my secluded big,white,cold room. i think,your red flakes are there too".

I remember posting on my Friendster's blog, a snippet from a book I read, titled "Ku pinang Engkau Dengan Hamdalah" about proposal from women. I'm too lazy to translate it in English, but the writer mentioned that Islam allow woman offering herself to a man who she trusts of having a strong faith and trustworthy to be her husband. It is a part of a way for self-remonstrance (mujahadah).

If only you're mine,
your soul, your heart, your love are for me alone,
how I wish you'll be mine forever
in this life and the hereafter.

If only you're mine,
I know by then that my prayers are really answered,
when you love me in return, with all your heart
I'll be the happiest person on earth

That's it,it's not complete, but I have no more idea. I'm still inside that room. I'm really really tired of moving on. This time, I want to stay, as long as I could. Call me crazy, but I don't care about anything anymore.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Virgo women personality

This is taken from an e-mail,forwarded by my cousin long ago, which I find that it is ALMOST similar to my own personality.hmm...interesting..

She will be similar to Leo woman in appearance. A slim woman who walks with confident and proud. She has an egg shape facial structure, high and round forehead. She likes to look straight as if she is searching. She is not a pretentious type and will always say what she thinks.
You will see Virgo woman walks fast. She will try her best to be perfect, to look perfect and to feel perfect even though there is no such perfection. She is very delicate of what and how she dress. She is bright and easily despair with obstacles. She likes smart guy who will be compatible with her,so if you are a rich dumb guy, you can forget about her right now.

She is not a very possessive or jealous person for she expect respect from her love one. She does not like a part time lover, or a temporary mate. If she finds her dream man, she will not go away. If she does not like you, she will always keep a certain distant. Act proper and appropriate is her discipline.

She does not like and can not stand bad languages, cursing words or phrase. She likes a gentleman who open the doors for her. She wants to feel protected and when a man taking care of her, she will feel like a complete woman.

She memorizes everything about other people and about herself very well. She can really keep secret, you can trust her on this. She likes a refreshing and a mild scent. She is very delicate in maintaining her beauty, so you could see she is seriously picking soap which match and most suit her skin. Do not comments her on this very picky habits, it is her happiness in working full times as a self beautifier.

She is not an innocent angle for sometimes she can be as tough as steel. Even she easily despair, she is not the type to cry over it. She is a shy type, so making speech in front of the room can make her nervous even she walks and talks confidently.

She only search for true love , not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angle again . If you have a date with her , you’d better be there on time.

Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry , make it brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up events, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money.Do not make she thinks that she is a clown or funny.

In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too.

Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can.